What to do
The one-page version
Everything on this site, in one page: the question, the three kinds, the three replies, and the four things to remember.
Claims this part is about, and what each was answered with
Showing up for each other is part of what a team is
Value→A statement of what mattersAnswered in its own kind, which is why it went somewhere
People should be free to choose where they live
Value→A principleNew starters take longer to become productive remotely
Empirical→Evidencethree claims · one empirical and two value · every one of them was answered in its own kind
The three claims on this record that were answered in their own kind.
The three kinds, one claim each, with what each was answered with
Teams that sit together ship faster
Empirical→A studyEmpirical: the study measured companies, not teams
Work should be something you go to
Value≠A studyValue: a study cannot settle what somebody thinks work is for
The lease runs to 2031 and the rent review falls next year
Interest→A statement about who paysInterest: settled by reading the lease, and said only once
three claims · one empirical, one value and one interest · one was answered with the wrong kind of answer
Three of the twenty-four claims, one of each kind.
If you read one page of this site, this is the one.
The question
Asked silently, of any claim, before replying:
What would have to be true for this to be settled?
The three answers
A measurement would have to come out one way. Empirical. It can be settled by evidence, if the evidence exists and measures the thing claimed.
Somebody would have to change what they think matters. Value. No evidence settles it. It is not thereby weak, soft or a cover story.
Somebody would have to say who bears a cost. Interest. Settled by one person stating a true thing, which takes under a minute and almost never happens.
The three replies
| Kind | Say |
|---|---|
| Empirical | "Is there anything we could look at?" |
| Value | "That is a real difference between us. Here is mine." |
| Interest | "What is the figure, and what is mine?" |
The two crossings to avoid
A study at a value claim. The commonest move in this argument, made by both sides, and it cannot work. Eight of the ten value claims on this record were answered this way and every one produced a restatement.
A principle at an empirical claim. Harder to notice, because both sentences sound alike. It wastes the one kind of claim that could actually have ended something.
The four things worth remembering
- Both sides make all three kinds. If you have not sorted one of your own claims into the value column, you are scoring rather than sorting.
- The cheapest claims are the least often said. Four of the five cost claims on this record were known to everybody and stated by nobody. They decided the outcome.
- More evidence will not close this. Nine of twenty-four claims were the kind evidence touches, and for four of those no evidence exists anywhere.
- A recorded disagreement is a result. Not agreement — both positions stated correctly and one of them overruled in the open. That is the realistic good outcome and it is reached far too rarely.
The numbers from the record
Twenty-four claims from one consultation over eleven weeks. Nine empirical, ten value, five about who pays. Twelve answered in a kind that cannot settle them. Five never answered at all, four of those because they were never said.
Seven answered in their own kind, producing two trades, one measurement and one recorded disagreement — which is everything this process produced in eleven weeks.
The three sentences, if you forget everything else
Is there anything we could look at?
That is a real difference between us, and here is mine.
What is the figure, and what is mine?
One for each kind. Said sincerely, they are the whole method.
And the one habit
Before answering anything in this argument, pause for the length of a breath and ask what would settle it.
That pause is the entire technique. Everything else on this site is an elaboration of what to do with the four seconds it buys, and in eleven weeks of a formal consultation involving six sessions and twenty-four claims, nobody took it once.
Where to go next
- The complete record, with every claim and what it was answered with, is in the twenty-four claims in full.
- If you want to check your own argument, sorting your own argument is twenty minutes with a sheet of paper.
- If you are running the discussion rather than arguing in it, running a discussion that can close has the four things worth doing.
The twelve crossings, in one line each
For anybody who wants the shape of the failure without the detail:
- Eight times, somebody said what they thought mattered and was handed a study.
- Four times, somebody made a checkable claim and was handed a conviction.
- Four times, somebody bore a cost and never mentioned it.
- Once, a cost was mentioned, in a different room, to different people.
- Once, an empirical claim was asked about properly, measured, and answered.
That last line is the whole of what worked, and it took an afternoon.
What this site is for
Not to settle how many days anybody should be in an office. That question contains claims of all three kinds and no website decides it.
What it offers is narrower: a way of telling, in the middle of the argument, which part of it could move and which part could not — so that the effort goes where it can do something, and so that the disagreement that remains is at least the one you are actually having.